Running A Nine Minute Mile

Got two good things done today. Went and got the hair trimmed. I say trimmed because I am going to grow it out a little bit. Kinda like Noah's. Well, maybe that wouldn't go over to well for work, but a little longer overall. "The man" (old people patients) in work society do not like long haired therapists. I always have said to KA that if I won a lotto and was set I am letting the lettuce go. It could be a good retirement look as well. I also went to the gym and beat up on myself for an hour and a half. It felt great. The smell of the pool, the hum of the machines, running around in the locker room without a towel... never mind. I did enjoy it and it was a good release.

Went by and saw Mom and Pops after the gym. Update on Lone Star is that he has not woken up all day except when he is moved or repositioned. Then it is just a painful whince and a slant eyed look. He then fades away again. The Atropine does not seem to be doing much as he is still awfully gurgly even when it is administered every two hours and he is sat straight up in the bed. As stated this morning, it is the hardest thing to be around. You want to turn him upside down or get him a lung brush from the old SNL skits. He did seem peaceful this afternoon. Pulse sats were a consistent 73-74 and his pulse was 90. I told my Mom and my brothers that it was like he was running about a nine minute mile- quick short breaths with very infrequent deep ones. He is laboring at this point, but seems at ease unless moved. I refuse to say he is going out because his body is still fighting. I do believe he is ready, but his vitals are trying to stay, well, viable.

Talked with Pops recently about his passing when he was in a semi alert state. We talked again about how great it will be to see Uncle Bob, his son David, his nephew Lee, my Moms parents Art and Edith, and his dad, George. I had brought this up before, but two days ago he told me he had talked with his Dad twice. Whether medication or dying process prerequisites, he was emphatic that they had talked. I brought this up yesterday when I went by and told him it was okay to go see them. He was just sleeping and I was rubbing his head. I then told him I was leaving and got his room set up for me to leave. I turned around, at his partially open doorway with the lights dimmed, and he had crocodile tears coming out of both eyes. I went back in the room and asked him "Pops, are you okay?" to which he responded with closed eyes and a desperate look on his face "I love my Dad." I sat down again and said to him "What a coincidence, I love my Dad too." I sat with him another couple of minutes and he was faded away.

It is work at times to change your life and schedule to accomodate anothers needs. My wife can tell you I am a terrible communicator and like to do what serves me. I'm a PIA at times. Yet this is all worth it and I would gladly do it again for my Mom. It does help that I have a gal that is 50/50 in helping me in the whole process. Tried and true baby, tried and true.